Managing Your Life Compassionately

Managing Your Life Compassionately
by Sunny Massad, Ph. D.

Do you have a dream that you simply can't manifest? Are you unable to break out of your limiting beliefs and behaviors to actually start the journey to your ideal life? Do you spend more time and energy insuring that everyone else's needs are met and then discover that you consistently don't have enough time to take care of your own? Are you afraid to speak up for yourself for fear that someone else might feel badly? Such experiences can break a person's spirit.

A life of personal integrity is a life that reflects one's own personal values. If you say you value honesty but you are not honest with your own needs and desires or you break promises to yourself, you diminish your own self worth. If your life does not reflect your true priorities, if you spend your energy avoiding confrontation, and if you continue to do things for people that you don't want to do, you will feel more and more powerless.

Use these three steps to restore your integrity:

Step One: Identify your three highest personal values. Example: health, love, and freedom

Step Two: Write down all of the ways that you would like to spend your free time and energy every day to insure that your life reflects those values. Make the list as specific as possible. Example:

Health Love Freedom

walk at least 30 min day arrange family dinners schedule in beach
time
make a list of healthy meals schedule in date night spend an evening
at the library
create a shopping list organize a monthly save $ every
dinner group month for vacation
eat 8 organic fruits ask for support find a buddy to
and veggies daily with the kids kayak with

trade for regular massages reach out to old friends break ties with toxic
people

Obviously, you may not be able to relate to these particular lists because they may not reflect your particular values, but you get the idea. When you look at your list, it should make your heart sing. There may be items on the list that will be difficult to do at first, like asking others to accommodate YOUR needs for a change, but make 2009 the year that you show compassion for yourself by reclaiming your own lost dreams.

Step Three: Take out your calendar and commit your list to specific dates and times to insure that you will actually manage to do each of the items. Keep it accessible. Look at it often. Rearrange as needed. But commit to meeting your own deadlines. If you don't manage the first time, recommit! It takes practice to break old habits.

The more you practice being true to your own needs and desires, the easier it will be to say "No" to the things that don't reflect your values and the closer you will be to living with integrity.