Transforming Tension

TRANSFORMING TENSION: Meditation and Stress Relief
by Roshani Shay, Ph.D.


Anyone who knows me would be shocked to discover that I once indulged in 60-hour work weeks, drinking endless cups of black coffee, and smoking three packs of cigarettes a day. What saved my life? What helped me to transform the tension I thought was caused by the circumstances of my life? What helped the overwork, caffeine and nicotine to drop as coping strategies? Awareness.

It was an increased ability to be aware of what was happening outside and inside of my body as it was happening, especially in stressful situations, that changed my life. Increased awareness in the present moment expands my choices of how to respond to external situations, instead of just reacting habitually and automatically in ways that are damaging to my body/mind. And how did I cultivate greater awareness? Meditation!

Many of us think we know where tension and stress come from. Ringing phones, endless e-mails, street clogging traffic, irritable or difficult spouses, kids and friends, insensitive and demanding bosses, uncooperative and unproductive co-workers, too much to do and too little time, world disasters blaring on TV every night! Right?

Hold on a minute! Is this really true? It is true that life presents challenges and plenty of stimuli that can result in tension and stress on the body/mind. But do stressful situations and people in our lives inevitably have to lead to physical aches and pains, runaway emotions, mental anguish? The answer is a resounding NO!

“…it is not the potential stressor itself but how you perceive it and then
how you handle it that will determine whether or not it will lead to stress….”
Jon Kabat-Zinn

The problem is that some of us react to our external environments in automatic, habitual ways, without realizing what damage the physical cascade of nervous system firings and release of stress hormones in the body can do. Some of us indulge this reaction and compound its negative effects on our body/minds.

Others try to internalize or suppress this stress reaction, but that can lead to increased blood pressure, cardiac and digestive problems, chronic headache, backache, sleep disorders, or anxiety. Still others respond with maladaptive coping behaviors, such as overworking, hyperactivity, overeating, or dependence on substances such as drugs, alcohol, caffeine or cigarettes.


“The problems and disturbances are all near the surface. Go deep, and you’ll find your way beyond them. The tumult and confusion can be overwhelming if you keep yourself in the middle of it. Take a step back, and give yourself some perspective.”
Ralph Marston

Many studies show that meditators display reduced stress reactivity and greater resilience (see the works of Dr. Dean Ornish or Dr. Jon Kabat-Zin, for example). Meditation practice eventually leads to the integration of calmness, spacious awareness, a sense of humor and relative equanimity in the face of everyday life. Thoughts will still come and go, emotions will come and go, body sensations will come and go, stressful situations and people will still be in your life, but the way you handle each will change. Meditation will give you the tools to prevent, release and transform tension in the body/mind.

"The Secret" on Steroids

"The Secret" on Steroids by Sunny Massad, Ph.D.

With all the buzz about the popular book and video called "The Secret," a primer on the laws of attraction, more and more people are realizing that the quality and meaningfulness of their lives is directly associated with the quality of the thoughts that they think. We can individually and collectively take responsibility for our future. We can use our creative power to create the condition of our own lives and to assist in the evolution of the communities in which we live and work.

Have you noticed that when someone in a particularly foul mood enters a room, everyone in the room feels the toxicity of their presence? It feels like an energy vacuum. And likewise, when someone enters your orbit that is particularly lighthearted, they light up the room with their smile.

In the 1970's and 80's psychologists promoted the “power of positive thinking.” But in the 90’s, it became apparent that positive thinking negated authentic "negative" feelings like fear and anger. Now, the more holistic approach is to honor and listen to your so-called negative feelings and address the fears and concerns that those feelings are bringing to your conscious attention. That nagging internal voice that seemingly focuses on doom and disaster for no good reason is a survival mechanism. Fear protects us from taking risks that are are perceived to be too dangerous, whether physically or emotionally. If you are an engineer and you are worried that your bridge might fall down, those worries provoke you to take action to guard against disaster. But if you stay up at night endlessly worrying about what is going to happen to you without taking charge of your mind or your life, you may simply not know how to problem solve when you are in a fearful state.

Einstein once wisely noted that "Humankind cannot solve its problems from the same place of consciousness from which we created them. A new place of consciousness is required." As a hypnotherapist, I can say with conviction that most worry is an unconscious misuse of your imagination. You take the worst possible scenarios and scare yourself with them. Some people worry as a course of habit. Others may have had parents who were worriers, and discover that they have internalized those voices into their own heads. No matter what the cause, if you find your mind obsessing fearfully over the "what ifs" of the future, you can just as easily "what if" about potential positive outcomes. After all, when standing in the present projecting about the future, it's all just projection. Why not project in a direction that propels you to insure that you end up with the outcome you actually desire?

UnTherapy® is a process that can help you to live your life by design. A number of my clients and students who have learned how to "counsel themselves and others" have commented that the counseling skills that I have been teaching for 15 years now mirror the principles of “The Secret,” but in addition provide practical methods for re-educating and breaking free of your own and other people’s subconscious patterns. If you are ready to not merely understand those principles intellectually, but also to truly embody them and integrate them into everyday life, I invite you to learn how.

Learn How to Counsel Yourself & Others
with Sunny Massad, Ph.D.

Saturday, September 13
1:00-4:00
Hawaii Wellness Retreat House
$40

You will experience a demonstration of wellness counseling with a volunteer from the audience and then have an opportunity to counsel yourself with the technique. For those ready to use the skills to help their peers to be free, you will learn about counselor laws in the state of Hawaii, details about how our more in-depth counselor training transforms lives, as well as how to apply for a work scholarship.

For More Information: Go to: http://hawaiiwellnessinstitute.org/b_wellness_01values.html

To Register: Call 848-5544 or go to: http://hawaiiwellnessinstitute.org/coursesandeventsregistration.html